Let’s talk about discomfort.
You know… the kind that shows up uninvited. It happens when your brain decides to throw a full-blown emotional rave. This occurs because someone said something that rubbed an old wound.
The kind of pain that makes you want to sprint toward anything that feels numbing:
– A few drinks
– Going out with friends to avoid thinking
– A string of messages you know you shouldn’t send
– A “treat yourself” online shopping cart
– Or even the classic “if I just stay busy enough, I won’t feel it.”
Been there. Rented the emotional Airbnb. Left it messy.
But Here’s the Thing I’ve Learned (The Hard Way, Obviously)
What you avoid… persists.
What you suppress… festers.
What you run from… usually sprints faster.
If you don’t slow down and face the discomfort, it finds another way to get your attention. This usually happens via a trigger, a meltdown, or a moment where you’re crying because your coffee order was wrong.
We all have our coping mechanisms – no shame. We’re wired to want comfort. But chasing short-term numbing often costs us long-term peace.
Pain Is a Teacher. Triggers Are Pop Quizzes
And trust me, I’ve failed a few.
…more than a few.
I’ve failed quite a lot of them, actually.
But I’m learning… slowly, messily, beautifully… that the goal isn’t to never get triggered.
It isn’t to always feel happiness.
The goal is to respond differently.
Not from fear.
Not from old wounds.
But from awareness.
And from a place of inner peace.
From a place of, “Ah, this again. I know you. But I’m the driver, and you’re the passenger. I’m in charge of where we go, and I’m not letting you drive today.”
There’s No Magic Pill for Healing. No 5-Step Plan To Permanent Peace
Even as an optimist, I know that life will always throw curveballs. Trust me, I’m the kind who tries to see a silver lining in a thunderstorm. But I’ve accepted that people will still disappoint. Old wounds will still make an appearance, and the past will knock on your door when you least expect it.
But healing isn’t about becoming untouchable.
It’s about becoming more anchored.
It’s about recognizing that the moment you’re reacting to isn’t actually that moment from the past. Even if your nervous system swears otherwise, it’s a different moment.
It’s about being able to hold two truths at once:
“Yes, this hurts.”
AND
“I’m okay. I can handle this. I’m not who I used to be.”
Inner peace isn’t some perfect Zen state. It’s a practice. A process. A permission slip.
It’s learning to:
- Sit with your sadness, discomfort or fear without needing to escape it
- Pause before reacting
- Journal instead of spiral-texting
- Take a walk instead of pouring a drink
- Say, “this is mine to feel, not to fear.”
It’s knowing that sometimes, healing feels boring. Or lonely. Or uncomfortable.
But it’s always worth it.
Because one day, someone will say something that used to set you off. You’ll feel it. You will breathe through it. Then, you will choose a different response.
And in that quiet moment of growth, you’ll realize…
This is what freedom feels like.
Final Thoughts:
Pain sucks. Triggers are annoying. Discomfort is awkward and sticky.
But they’re all invitations.
Not punishments. Not curses. Just messengers, asking you to pause… and listen.
To not reach for distraction, but to reach inward.
To not numb, but to nurture.
To not run, but to stay.
Because feeling everything doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re alive.
And peace? It’s not found in avoiding the storm.
It’s found in knowing you’ll hold your own hand through it.
Self-Love with a Side of WTF 
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